(no subject)


Happy New Year. 

I just watched a ball drop, and am drinking.  Comfy in my jammies. 

Goodbye 2008.  You have brought me nothing but misery, pain, and heartbreak.  GTFO and never ever speak to me again.  

2009.  Please be nice to me.  Im still raw and sore from the beating that 2008 gave me. 





SO many things come to mind when reading this.  I mean., really.  

How can you make fat free breast milk for fat free ice cream?

How would Ben and Jerrys still be able to claim they use hormone free milk? 

And eww....Chunky Monkey.    The possibilities for snark are ripe with this one.  Just...ew.

WTF will they do?  Have big dorm houses full of lactating pregnant women to pump?  Then impregnate the women AGAIN to get more milk?  Much like they claim is done to cows.  

This is absurd in so many ways..

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(no subject)

Dear John McCain,

Thank you for handing Barack Obama the White House. 

Thank you for choosing a woman, who has LESS experience than Obama.  Love how you stuck with THAT selling point, there, Johnny.  

And thank you for reiterating the ideal that a woman needs to be PRETTY to be successful.  

I see her head shot, and I see porno movie.  

I am SO watching the debate between  Biden and Palin.   Im predicting MANY giggles, and lols from it.  

Thanks John! 



(no subject)

Michelle hit the ball out of the park on Monday.

Hillary followed her with another homer on Tuesday.

Bill lobbed a slow bunt past the pitcher on Wednesday.  Biden smacked a hard triple. 

Barack. Obama. 

Wont land tll sometime in the middle of next week.  

That man will be an AMAZING president.   I have goosebumps hearing him speak.  I dont want four more years of Republicans.  

"McCain says he wants to follow Bin Laden to the gates of hell, but he wont even follow him to the cave he lives in!" 

The crowd in the stadium, the people in Times Square, its just so amazing to see it all.  I would LOVE to be there right now.  

He speaks so smoothly, and eloquently, it is so much better than the monkey I have to listen to now.  

But much kudos to McCain for his ad during the convention congratulating Obama. 

Not a red America, not a blue America, but a UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.  

45 years ago it was a black and white America, now its a red and blue America.  What a day that he delivers his acceptance on.  Hes inspiring me.  I want him as my leader.  For my future, and my childrens future.  

OMG...B is bouncing around the living room cheering his head off.  Im posting this so I can too. 

Go Obama.

We may not agree on abortion, but we can agree that we can prevent unwanted pregnancies.
We may not agree on gay marriage, but we can agree that gays and lesbians should be able to visit their loved ones in the hospital. 
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(no subject)

No way, no how, no McCain.

Good job, Hillary. 

Good job, Michelle.   

Bills speech tonight, and Biden, will be interesting to see if they can top it.  And of course, tomorrow being the 45th anniversary of the "I Have a Dream" speech...one wonders how Obama will work that in to his, or even if he chooses to do so.
It would be good if he did, IMO.  The speeches Ive heard since this convention started have been amazing, goose bump inducing, and awe inspiring. 

Even though I am a Democrat, B and I will be watching the RNC to see if ANYONE there is NEARLY as good as the Dems have been so far this week. 

OMG...hahahaha.   I LOVE Good Morning America.  They just showed 2 of Hillarys guys parading pantsuits on the stage to see what would work best with the blue background.   HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  2 big SS guys...holding pantsuits. 


(no subject)

Even the hardiest of retail warriors, like myself, cringe in terror at those four words. 

Back To School Shopping.

CLOTHES.  With a 13 year old and a 6 year old.   6 year olds feet have grown.  There are no Disney Princess Velcro sneakers in size 13.  She picks Tinkerbell.  I thought I was victorious.  Untill we check out...the wailing commences because they arent PINK.  Never mind that she put them on, danced around the aisle, and proclaimed them the prettiest sneakers.   Noooooooooooooooo.  Ugh.  WTF ever.

Jeans.  Thought it was easy..till the dressing room was closed.   FUCK ME.  Buy them anyway, try them on at home.  If they dont fit...I return them when I take the boy. 

BACKPACKS!  13 year old...BAM..found it.  6 year old?  Oh holy fuck, you would think I asked her to decided which parent to put in the bunker with her before the bomb drops.  Barbie, Dora, Bratz, Princesses, Tinkerbell...holy shit.

Christ on a cracker!  So then I pull out the supply lists, and a chill runs down my back.    I remember the horror of last year.   I went the weekend before school.   BAD BAD BAD IDEA.  EVERYTHING  was gone.  Even the fucking back to school aisle was EMPTY.  Come on!  WHO disbands the whole damn AISLE the week BEFORE?  

Never backing from a challenge, I grit my teeth and forge ahead...plowing through the portly women who needed a shower and couldnt figure out that a package of white paper meant COPY PAPER.  And were vastly debating the merits of a Hannah Montana binder over a High School Musical binder.  Me...I dont care.  They can BOTH die in a fire.   Im the type of mom who buys plain brown pencils, and boring spirals.  Fuck the overdecorated highly priced slicker than snot shit.

Notebook paper?  Check.  Wait, double check...yes...wide ruled. 
Spiral notebooks, wide ruled, 4 different colors?  Check
4 specific colors of plastic pocket only folders?  Sure...no problem.  Just let me climb up the shelf to the ONLY box of red ones, and topple two boxes of purple on the floor.  Sorry about that.  Who the hell stocks purple and orange when the lists are red, blue, green and yellow?
4 specific colors of regular pocket and brad folders?  Thats easy.
5 bottles of Elmers Glue?  Yeah
5 disappearing purple glue sticks?   ummm...challenge me...they come 2 in a pack.  So I get an extra.

One set of 4 low odor chisel tip dry erase markers?   You thought you GOT me this year, Mr. List.  HAHA.  I got them before they were sold out. 

Wait...whats this? 

One set of BULLET TIP?   What the FUCK ARE THOSE?  Crap.  Papergirl 7, school supplies 1


Manilla paper?  12x18 size.  Got it.  Never DID get it last year. It was gone too quick.   8-1

Crayola 24 count crayons?  Easy peasy.   9-1

Crayola 16 count?  Hmmm...FUCK.   9-2  Grab extra 24 count.
Prang 8 ct water colors?   10-2

Pencils?  Please.  

Magic Erasers?
Paper Plates?
Ziploc bags?
Hand Sanitizer?

Easy..but Im FUCKING TIRED.  Ill deal with YOU later.   By this time I have lost track of the score.  I think I won...but only by a margin of victory when I managed to NOT step on the hand of the whiny MOTHER who was digging through EVERY. BOX. OF. SPIRALS. to find the correct shade of pink for her oh so speshul snowflake.

You know the part about this that REALLY pisses me off?   The supplies dont stay KID specific for the year.  So last year my terror of HOLY SHIT NEED TO FINISH THE LIST was doused like a campfire in a monsoon when I went to the boys orientation, and was instructed to sort them out, and dump them in the correct bins in the class room.  So, in the long run, no one would ever be the wiser if my one child out of the 22 in the class didnt bring exactly 32 pencils.  Or brought *gasp* Roseart washables instead of Crayolas. 

And even knowing NOW what I learned THEN... I still have the overwhelming DESIRE...no...PRIMAL URGE to clear out the list.  

School supplies.  The fucking Pokemon of the adult world.  Gotta catch them all. 

(no subject)

How does she know....he loves her? 

Just one of many things...

When he stops at Wal Mart on the way home to pick up milk and bread....he gets sodas too...and he never buys me the generic Diet Coke..he always buys the real Diet Coke. 

<3 <3


Good goddamn...the heat starts, and ever fracking creepy crawlie that got unhoused when the foundation got laid last summer is now trying to make their acquaintence in my house. 

I am SO tired of spiders!  I think one bit me on my belly button!  There is a huge red welt right there, and it itches like CRAZY! 

And I have to really work on laundry.  Washing...no problem...drying..no problem.  Putting it AWAY?  Ugh.  I have 2 baskets full of sorted, folded laundry just sitting there. 

I HATE putting it away. 
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